Counting the Omer: Day 41 — Bonding in Bonding


Leigh Grode

During the sixth week of counting the Omer, we examine and refine the emotional attribute of Yesod or bonding. Bonding means connecting; not only feeling for another, but being attached to them. It is not just a token commitment, but total devotion. It creates a connection between giver and receiver. Bonding is eternal. It develops an everlasting union that lives on forever through our heart connections.

Bonding is the foundation of life. We all need bonding to flourish and grow. The bonding between parents and child; between Spouses; between siblings; between close friends is an affirmation: that “One matters”, “I am significant and important”. It establishes trust ― trust in yourself and trust in others. It instils confidence. Without bonding and nurturing we cannot realize and be ourselves.

Does every person have the capacity to bond with other people, to achieve with significant undertakings and meaningful experiences? Or do I have difficulty bonding; is the difficulty in all areas or only in certain ones? Do I want to bond with people or just live as a loner?

To examine the reasons for not bonding one has to be able to be completely honest to and about them selves. Is one too critical – finding fault in everything is this a deflection, an excuse for not bonding? Are you stuck – locked in ones’ own ways? Is ones not bonding a result of discomfort with vulnerability? Have you been hurt in past bonding experiences? Has your trust been abused-or broken? Is the fear of bonding a result of the deficit experience during early childhood?

To cultivate ones capacity to bond, even if you have valid reasons to distrust, you must remember that God gave you a Divine soul that is nurturing and loving and you must learn to recognize the voice within, which will allow you to experience other people’s souls and hearts. Sometimes it is a blind leap of faith. Then you can slowly drop your defences when you recognize someone or something you can truly trust. Bonding breeds bonding, as positive adheres to positive and love breeds love.

Exercise for this day: Be present in this moment, right here, right now, give into this space of light – sound – smell, let it wash over you. Become aware of what is in your realm a bird – the ocean – a mountain – the Hollywood Sign off in the Distance breath deep and let that smile – out in your breathe – in your eyes – in your smile or giggle. Consume this moment right now and let it wash over you.

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